Why are we, as women, inherently programmed to constantly apologize for things entirely unworthy of remorse? How is it that we assume someone running into us and sending our personal belongings flying into the air is somehow our fault? Why do we apologize to waiters when we ask for a refill when it’s their job to give us a refill? Are we really sorry about everything? We’re better than that.
We women are awesome! We’ve taken some incredible strides and rewritten our roles in society. I mean, we pretty much run this place. I, for one, am not sorry about any of that. Ladies, it’s 2016—enough is enough.It’s time to stop apologizing for everything. In case you need a nudge—here are the top ten things women need to stop apologizing for, like, yesterday.
- Our success. Whether we’re running a household or a hedge fund, there’s really no need to apologize for being good at what we do. We shouldn’t have to reduce the facts of our success in order to appease the egos of others. Someone being threatened by the success of a woman sounds like they’re overcompensating for something if you ask me.
- Our sexuality. There’s no questioning that women are over-sexualized; The fact that we’re expected to live up to the erotic fantasia that our society has created is laughable at best. Our sex lives are our business, and whether or not we’re in the mood is between us and whoever we choose to participate in said escapades with. Whether that’s all day every day, or only on Christmas is completely up to us, and it shouldn’t be subjected to unrelenting judgment one way or another.
- Our opinions. We have thoughts, ideas, questions, and opinions that matter. Others being in disagreement with those opinions is just a fact of life, and we shouldn’t be sorry if our ideals don’t align with the morality of others. You don’t see Donald Trump apologizing for his opinions, do you?
- Being right. No one is right all the time—really, no one. However, in the case that we are on the winning end of debate, neither self-condemnation nor remorse should be present in our victory speech. Every now and then our lady brains come up with some pretty brilliant solutions. If anything, we should be saying “You’re welcome.”
- Our independence. Men are great. We love men, but that doesn’t mean that we have to depend on them for our every need, or at all for that matter. Not needing someone isn’t a proper reason to apologize, and being able to handle our business by ourselves should be applauded, not frowned upon.
- Not acting like a “lady.” Long gone are the days of women serving the sole purpose of visual amusement. One does not simply become a “lady” by properly powdering her nose and sitting silently while the rest of the world continues to evolve. We’re an equal part of that evolution, and sometimes that means getting our hands dirty and starting a riot. So drop those F-bombs guilt-free, ladies. Sometimes they’re very necessary.
- Our failures. Why is it that when a woman fails it is somehow equated to having a set of ovaries?
- What we choose to do with our bodies. Our bodies, our temples. What we choose to do with our bodies is not up to anyone else. We should be able to pierce, tattoo, dress or undress our bodies as we see fit. Maybe we want to carry children and to breastfeed in public without scrutiny; Maybe we never want children and would prefer a rock hard set of abs and a perky back side instead, or maybe we even prefer to fill our temples with tacos. Our bodies, our choices.
- Having emotions. Hormones are fickle bastards, for sure, but we have little to no control over our physiology, so apologizing for our emotions is a lost cause. Having an emotional reaction is nothing to be ashamed of. It just means that we feel life deeper, and we love harder. Wearing our emotions on our sleeves is a heavy burden, but women are more than strong enough to bare it.
- Being assertive. If a man is assertive, people often view him as strong and in control, but if a woman holds the same attribute she’s considered a bitch, and likely accused of shedding the lining of her uterus (that means she’s on her period, folks). Knowing what we want and settling for nothing less doesn’t make us merciless or cut throat, it makes us strong and poised, and it’s definitely not something to be sorry about.
It’s our world too, ladies. Let’s not treat it like we’re houseguests.
“It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.” –Amy Poehler,‘Yes Please’—2014.
