People who are anti-vaccination, or anti vaxxers if you’d rather, are definitely a very… resilient bunch of folks. But how can you convince them to change their stance? Oh, we think we’ve come up with a few (hilarious) ways.
Take a look and let us know what you think.
1. Rebrand vaccines Holistic Disease Prevention
Nothing says “I don’t like medicine” quite like only going to holistic healing.
2. Put the words hand and crafted in the description somewhere
Hand crafted butter? Yup. Hand crafted cocktails? Check. Hand crafted vaccines? This might work.
3. Administer them from a mason jar
Because nothing says down-to-earth and totally pretentious like mason jars.
4. Label them gluten-free
5. Market them as sustainable
Hey, anti-vax people, we will never run out of the stuff to make vaccines… unless we eliminate the diseases completely. That’s okay though, right?
6. Train doulas to administer the shot
Pfft, who needs a delivery room?
7. Get President Obama to officially support the anti vax movement
Nothing seems to motivate large numbers of science deniers quite like the current POTUS.
8. Promote them as being primarily made with elements and compounds found in nature
Totally not a lie, because both mercury and formaldehyde are found in nature. Isn’t that all they complain about anyway?
9. Offer them at famers’ markets
If it is at the farmers’ market then it must be locally sourced and inherently better for you.
10. Market them as Conflict Free
Good news. The developing world was not harmed in the making of this vaccine.
11. Or market them as Fair Trade
See the last reason.
12. Sell an at-home vaccination kit at Whole Foods
Shopping at Whole Foods means I love myself and my family more than you do.
13. Make them available on Etsy
Buying vaccines on Etsy means you’re supporting a small business and not those big bad pharmaceutical companies.
14. Put a bird on it
Because nothing is as appealing as a bird silhouette.
15. Use the word artisanal
This makes them sexy and superior in every way.
16. Make them really expensive
Because nothing is more desirable than something others can’t afford.
17. Dupe them into believing no one else is getting them yet
You know, because vaccinating your children is so 1986.
18. Say they’re organic
Organic means healthy, right? And in some ways this isn’t wrong, because the diseases themselves are organic.
19. Remind them that they’re GMO free
If they don’t like science, convince them that science isn’t involved.
