Do you have difficult people in your life? Most of us do. Maybe your boyfriend has a friend who is always looking for an opportunity to diss you. Or your coworker is trying to sabotage your job. Or your upstairs neighbor seems intent on keeping you awake till all hours of the night. Whoever it is that is trying to make your life miserable, don’t let them. Don’t stoop to their level by being as aggravating as they are.
Here are some ways that you can always kill with kindness.
Don’t Rise to the Provocation
Many times, people who give you grief are simply trying to provoke a reaction in you. They may be doing it for their own entertainment, trying to get you to embarrass yourself in front of someone else, or for some other weird reason that it’s not worth delving into because it’s irrational.
In this instance, you can kill them with kindness by not rising to the provocation. In other words, don’t get angry. Don’t raise your voice, don’t threaten them to stop, and don’t use your body language in an intimidating way. Keep your tone quiet and steady, as if you’re talking to a child. Sit back and relax as you respond. Meet their eyes and speak back in a genial tone. If you do it correctly, they’ll have no option but to back down. You’ll confuse the heck out of them, too, so be prepared to see a look of astonishment on their face.
Be Overtly Friendly
If you have someone in your life who just doesn’t seem to like you for no other reason than that you exist on earth, you can kill them with kindness by being overtly friendly. Turn them into your best friend, even if it’s one-sided. Greet them when they enter the room, call them up for chats, offer them your unused movie tickets, bring them cookies, and just generally act as if they are your favorite person in the world. They will resist at first, but no one will be able to resist such overt friendliness forever. Just remember, you should be genuinely friendly. Find something likeable about that person and focus on it. If you’re disingenuous, they’ll be able to see right through your actions.
Ask Their Advice
It may seem crazy to think that you would ask advice from someone who appears to despise you. That’s exactly why this “kill them with kindness” technique works so well. People only ask advice of others whom they trust, respect and admire. If you are willing to supplicate yourself – just a little bit – and show that you aren’t afraid to ask them for help with a problem, that will really throw the other person. They won’t know what to think about you, but one thing is certain; they will have a hard time in the future treating you badly after you were humble enough to ask their advice.
The best part about killing someone with kindness is that you don’t fill your heart up with anger and negativity. On the contrary, you’re filling up with love and understanding and, hopefully, some of that will rub off on this other person. If we all fought our battles like this, wouldn’t that make for a better world?