Feminism. It can be a scary word. These days many people misconstrue this word to mean “man-hating,” but in actuality it just means equal treatment for men and women. Many women defy the term saying, “I don’t need feminism! I just want men and women to be equal!” Cue me staring into the offscreen camera like the office.
Feminism is important, whether you use the term or not. Men and women deserve to be treated equally, paid equally, and hired equally. However, it’s no secret that men have been overwhelmingly unsupportive of women in too many instances. Many men believe they support women, but often they’re caught saying some, shall we say, problematic things. More than just saying problematic things, they say things women do not want to hear at all.
So, whether you’re a man trying to get it right with the women in your life or you’re a woman who wants to feel supported, here are 7 things all women are sick of hearing.
“Smile more!”
Unless you’re Aaron Burr from the hit musical Hamilton, then there is no reason you should be saying this to any woman. Do you ever hear us saying this to men? Of course not! However, only we get the gendered phrase “resting b*tch face.” For some reason, men do not like it when we frown, but it’s more annoying to us when they order us around. If I don’t feel like smiling, I’m not required to do so, and especially not for your pleasure.
“When are you having kids?”
Newsflash: not all women want kids. More than that, some women do not want to be stay-at-home moms right off the bat, or ever. Just because we can carry children, it is not a requirement of womanhood. Our bodies belong to us alone, and we choose how to use them. For some of us that means having a career before focusing on a family, and for others it just means we don’t want to push a kid out of our vagina. So stop asking us about it! It’s our business, and we’ll worry about that question when we’re good and ready.
“Not all men!”
If you really want to annoy a woman, just tell her “Oh, well not all men are like that.” It’s one of the primary responses to feminists whenever they bring up oppression from men. Like it or not, men have oppressed women since the beginning of time. Women have had to fight for things like voting rights, wages, and even the right to having a career. So just because you say “Well, I’ve always been supportive of women,” that does not negate what your gender has done and what problem women still face. It’s not a response we want to hear, so recognize your privilege and try to do better.
“Women are too emotional for authority.”
Many people argue that this is why Hillary lost the presidency. Supposedly, people weren’t ready to have a women president because we’re just too emotional as a gender. Not only is this statement completely wrong and irrelevant to how women perform in positions of authority, it’s hypocritical to the extreme. Just go check out the Twitter account for the 45th President of the United States. Women only seem more emotional because society does not let men express their emotions healthily. This harms both men and women on a number of levels. And even if women are a little emotional, who cares? That does not affect how we do our jobs. So stop telling us not to cry and let us do our jobs.
“The wage gap isn’t real.”
It is. Any questions?
“You just hate men.”
The whole definition of feminism is equal treatment of gender. Whether you’re a man, a woman, or some other gender, we believe that everyone should be treated the same. We do not hate men, and we hate being called man haters. However, we do hate how a majority of men have treated women in the past.
“I like you better without makeup.”
At first glance you may think, “Okay, surely there is nothing wrong with saying this.” It is a compliment, and we do appreciate the thought behind it, but it’s still frustrating. A lot of women put a huge amount of time and money into makeup, but not to please a guy or their significant other. Most of us put on makeup because we enjoy it or because we like how we look with it on. So stop assuming that we do everything to please men and start appreciating how well we can put on winged eyeliner!
