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Things Your Mother Shouldn’t Have Told You (Plus One She Should Have And Didn’t)

young beautiful mother teaches daughter prepare dough in the kitchen
Image: Oleg Baliuk/Shutterstock

Is your mom full of little tidbits that may or may not apply to your life as your know it? Some of this advice should be relegated to the history museums. See if any of these phrases sound familiar.

Obey Your Husband

You should obey the traffic rules, the tax law and the rules of your employer. But your lifelong, equal partner in marriage? Not unless you don’t consider yourself an intelligent adult capable of making your own decisions. This is one piece of advice that you can safely ignore.

Never Wear White After Labor Day

In the past, people were judged on their class by their knowledge of and adherence to, certain fashion dictates. One of them was not wearing white clothing after Labor Day. Nowadays, society really couldn’t care less if you choose to rock your white capris after the first Monday in September. I think they’d much rather enforce a rule that would make guys pull their pants up so we can’t see their underwear.

The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach

Well, if you ever got a chance to cook for a guy and he appreciates good food, that advice may work a little. But for those of us in the technology age who rely on Internet dating, it’s much easier to get a guy’s attention if you look nice. And if you want to reach his heart over the long term, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and be a loving partner. He can always dial for take-out.

Feign an Interest in His Hobbies

This is bad advice on so many levels. First, if you’re feigning an interest in his hobbies, your man’s not going to get to know the real you. That’s not fair to him. Second, with this advice, you don’t even get to be your true self, and that’s completely unfair to you. Just be yourself, and the right guy will be naturally attracted to you for all the best reasons. Because he likes you for you. Not some fake version you’re pretending to be.

Always Let the Man Drive

If your mother had witnessed some of the bad male drivers to hit the roads in recent years, she probably would have kept mum on this one. The “always let the man drive” advice was to allow the man to feel like he’s in charge while you play the little impotent missus routine in the passenger seat. If your man needs you to give him power instead of taking it for himself, he might not be the man for you. How about letting whomever feels like driving take the wheel? Then there’s no power play at all.

Just Fake It

Er, this little gem of advice usually comes out on a bride’s wedding day. Mom might be passing this along from when her mother said it on her wedding day. But hopefully, you can see the folly in this advice, no matter what the era. If your husband makes the effort to please you—though not all men do—then why not give him a fighting chance by letting him know when he’s hitting the mark and when he’s not? You don’t have to be unkind about it, but both positive and negative “feedback” is crucial if your lovemaking is to be mutually enjoyable in the future.

Always Look Nice When Hubby Comes Home From Work

The day your husband decides to put on something more than a pair of sweatpants and a stained t-shirt for when you come home from work, is the day you can start dressing up at home like January Jones in “Mad Men.” ‘Nuff said.
Moms mean well, but some advice that keeps getting passed along from generation to generation simply doesn’t apply anymore. Meanwhile, here’s something your mom should have told you but may not have.

The World You Grow Up In Isn’t the World You’ll Live In

In other words, times change very drastically in just one lifetime. When your mother was a child, there were no televisions, let alone rocket ships. When you were a child, there were no computers and look at the world now.
You can’t count on society and the world to stay the same, but you can count on self-esteem and a sense of being loved to carry you through no matter what changes life brings your way. And those are things that moms can pass on to you without saying a thing.

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