Every woman (and some men) experience it at least once in their lifetime. Innocently walking down the street or through a public area, and someone shouts a confusing and sexual comment out at you. “How you doin’?” and “Give me a smile!” are some classic examples that aren’t even very sexual. The worst comments come in the form of “Nice legs!” or an actual whistle to get your attention. The confusing part is, people don’t usually say they met their significant other after being cat called by him. There are almost no circumstances where this act is flattering or appropriate. So why do men do this?
Gothamist.com responded to a variety of viral videos about men cat calling with a video of their own attempting to explain the behavior. Their video features women being interviewed about being cat called, and also men about cat calling themselves. The main thing this video reinforces is the fact that men like doing it, and it makes women uncomfortable. Some teenage boys in the video were quoted saying:
“If a girl comes out in tight leggings, and you can see something back there…I’m saying something,” and “Try not to wear tight clothes.”
Thanks for the fashion advice, kid. The fact that young boys are behaving like this thinking that it’s the girls fault for being cat called by wearing certain items of clothing is absurd. Not only is this objectifying and sexualizing, it makes women really uncomfortable. Every woman in the video mentioned that they get cat called almost every day, and they do not respond well. One woman even says,
“Every time it happens they’re scraping a little bit of a hole, and then by the end of the day it’s a bigger hole, and that bothers you.”
Men often justify their cat calling by claiming that they are complementing her, or telling her that she is beautiful, and she should be thankful for that. While maybe some may have good intentions, this puts the idea in the woman’s head that her worth is solely being judged on her appearance. You are interested in her even though you know absolutely nothing about her? That doesn’t seem like a very successful way to get a girlfriend (or get lucky).
Yelling out obscene comments to a woman walking past you does more than just make her uncomfortable. It weakens her self esteem, makes her more self-conscious and more importantly says something about you. The crime here is not thinking that a woman looks beautiful or sexy—those thoughts are completely normal and acceptable. However, the way in which you express this attraction and interest predicts the outcome and the affect it will have. Yelling out random things at a woman will get you nowhere. Respecting a woman will.
There are plenty of ways to let a woman know you’re interested without insulting or objectifying her. Simply starting a conversation by introducing yourself and adding a quick complement is going to be much more effective then calling out at her rudely, expecting a positive response. Enough with the cat calling! The awkwardness and damage it causes could easily be avoided, just by being a normal person.
