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Mind The Milestones
Big events in anyone’s life compels them to take stock and assess their lives. For women especially, birthdays are very important. Particularly the big ones – 25, 30, 35, 40, etc. Women have a slightly different take on age than men do. Women crave attention, as we all do, but they need the sturdy shoulder of a man to lean on, especially when age comes creeping on. That’s why you need to be there on milestone birthdays and anniversaries. If she reaches out her hand and yours isn’t there to take it, that will trigger the impulse for infidelity. And do not underestimate the importance of birthday sex.
The same goes for important career promotions. If your lady comes home and is jazzed about her promotion at work, you need to care. And we’re not talking about pretending. If she detects that you don’t really share her enthusiasm, you are giving her license to feel neglected and under appreciated. This behavior on your part could very well lead her to stray.
Birthdays, promotions – her sensitivity will be heightened at these times. And so should yours be, if you want to maintain a healthy, happy life together.
Dress The Part
In general, women tend to care more about their appearance than men. Just head downtown on a Friday night and take a look at all the couples mingling in restaurants and bars. Women usually look like they’ve put more time and effort into their outfit. So you should too. You need to express your understanding of your relationship as a two-way street. So don’t come rolling down the block in your jammies when she’s in her jewelry. That’s a double standard. She will look at you in your T-shirt and leisures, and then look at the guy across the room who is well groomed and dressed to the nines, and her mind will begin to wander.
It’s Phone-y
Don’t let our digital age take you for a fool. We all spend too much time on our phones. But if she is overly engrossed in her online social life, and not so much in you, it could be a sign that she is losing interest. A healthy relationship involves mutual engagement. That means you, too, should not be ignoring good conversation. Make time to have dinner together, and spend that time talking and listening to each other.
Check Your Sex
Healthy relationships function with healthy sex lives. Maybe its a few times a week, maybe less, maybe more. Different people behave differently. But if there is a sudden shift in sexual habits, this can be a warning sign that something has gone awry. If you begin to feel like things have diverged wildly off course, its probably time to talk about it.
She’s Questioning You
If a woman thinks you’re not being 100% honest with her, she may begin to feel that she doesn’t need to be 100% honest with you. And this is where relationships start to become unhealthy. As anybody would, women want to be treated as equals. Self-esteem and dignity are important to health of self. If she feels as though you may have cheated on her, she may feel the need to settle the score. Revenge sex is not uncommon in this situation. But if there’s no reason to get even to begin with, then revenge affairs are not to be had.
If you have cheated on her, the healthiest way to move forward is to be honest. Hiding things in your relationship will only make for distance and bitterness, and she will detect both, in time.
If you haven’t cheated on her, but she thinks you have, then a couple problems could be at play. Either you aren’t properly expressing her value to you, or perhaps her self-confidence is low. Oftentimes the two go hand in hand. Let her know how much she means to you. Show her you care with physical attention, and maybe a retail venture.
A Long And Winding Road
How is the future looking? Is your calendar still brimming with plans you made together like it was before? Do you feel that she is still as invested in you as you are in her? She could be overwhelmed at work. Maybe you are too. But keep in mind that if you’re the one feeling neglected, it could be because she has found an investment in someone new.
Maybe you’re taking the next step and moving in together. Big steps are important, so it can be cautious maneuvering. When you spend so much time together, it can be crucial to also reserve some personal space. But these spaces should not be misconstrued as suspicious zones. They are me-time and she-time. Remember, spending too much time together may slowly drive you apart.
To Be Or Not To Be?
Eventually you have to ask yourself: are you happy? Is she happy? Are you happy together?
If the answer is “I think so” or “uh, yeah” then you’ve already formed a predisposition to infidelity. If you are in love, your answer will be a resounding “yes!” and no more need be said.
The key is to talk about it. Be honest. Express yourself truly. Because you can bet that she’ll do the same. Remember to get in her head, to put yourself in her (many pairs) of shoes. Exercise your empathy. And your love will continue to grow.
